Finding Your Place in the New Year
One day I received a text from my sister. It said, "I'm sure a trillion times you would rather have Chloe back than to have grown so much over the past few years. But it's kind of like one of those mall maps that says YOU ARE HERE."
I probably read that text ten times. This "place" where you are after a loss of any kind can bring up so many emotions- anger, sadness, vacancy and fear. But, in the moment of reading that text, I found a kind or order and acceptance to the exact place I was at that time.
The step I had to take next was to have a strong sense of knowing exactly where I was so I could decide where to go next. I had this image of myself standing in front of that map, reading the words, looking at the layout and making a plan. It went something like this.
Here I am. I am heartbroken with moments of light. I long for the past, but this is my present. Here I am. Part of me wants to stay here just staring at this place, allowing myself to be somewhat comforted by the paralysis . Here I am. I could stay in this place and lick my wounds. Here I am.
But in my peripheral vision I see that there were other opportunities, choices that I could make to move myself from this place. If I allowed myself to look at the whole map I could see other words-
The list became endless. But for some reason my pain had offered me some kind of comfort, like an old familiar friend. Now I could see the whole map, not just my own place. Opportunities in life are endless, even after loss. It only takes that next step, that one step that brings more light into your life, moving you to a new place on the map.
How will you move from your place on the map this year?