Finding Your Own, True, Path

​It should be easy- walking through life staying true to your own, path.  It is the only path that leads to true happiness.  Why, then, do we so often fall short of this pursuit?

There is one word that always leads me astray.  It is the word, "should."  While this word may be mildly appropriate in raising children who are learning how to exist in the world, it should gradually fade with age. 

Here is my own list of "shoulds" which span my life thus far:

• I should keep the peace among my family and friends.   This will make them happy with me.
• I should clean my house instead of hike, write or paint just in case someone stops by.
• I should spend my energies with a colleague who sucks my energy so that she will be happy and I will look like a good person.
• I should have a dinner party for a group of people which I really don't enjoy.
• I should say "yes" when my heart says "no."  This will make others happy and I will appear like a responsible adult.
• I should go to church, even though I really find a larger sense of God and Spirit outside the walls of the church.
• I should choose a career path that is practical and acceptable instead of following the passion of my heart.
• I should serve on yet one more committee at work because it will increase my status among my colleagues and supervisors.
• I should read that book, go to that concert, pretend to like that artist so I won't be socially awkward and left behind.
• I should NOT let people know what really, truly moves me or they may not like the person they see.

I have experienced all of these-and more.  I only slightly recognized my own true path, if at all. When I did finally start recognizing it, I found it difficult to stay on it without wandering off in the direction that others thought was best for me.  When I finally became clear on what my path was, it became easier for me to stay true to the direction I wanted to pursue.  With each decision to do, or not to do something that was true to my own heart, my happiness increased.

So how do you get this happiness?  Where is this path?  You first must know where your true passions lie, what your path actually IS.  This is done by "tuning" in, to everything.  Here are a few suggestions for finding your own path:

• Scan your work place, friends and family.  Pay attention to the places that feel positive and energetic for you.  Notice the relationships that feel heavy or negative.  Begin to spend less time with those people, even if they convince you that they need you.
• Every building you walk into, stop and notice how you feel and ask "why?"
• Scan your life and write down the times and events that truly made you happy.
• Close your eyes and go to the places, activities or events that truly light you up.

When you begin to identify your own passionate path, be aware of the decisions and choices you make that are keeping you on that path or pulling you away.  Your path is important because it is the place where you will truly be able to nurture your gifts to yourself and the world.  It will be your place of service to others and your own true happiness.

I was truly amazed when I started scanning my life at how my daily activities weren't aligning to the passion of my heart.  I thought about my happy "places" and realized they were places in nature.  I saw how being in nature was crucial to me so I started organizing my time to include more of them. When I thought about my brief time in Art School and painting outside at Ghost Ranch I knew I needed more Art in my life and I enrolled in an online painting class.  I spent less and less time with people who didn't light me up.  New friends started coming into my life, because I knew what I wanted.  I started backing away from responsibilities at work that were feeling "lifeless" even though there were some that still wanted my input.  I stopped telling myself I "should" be riding my horses when all I really wanted was to spend time in the barn and be around them.  I have a new tribe-people I truly love and feel nurtured by.  I feel a healthy, positive energy flowing through me.  In the face of life's storms and tears, my path is joy.