How to Move Through Life When the Sky is Falling
On an otherwise beautiful day, Chicken Little was walking along when suddenly an acorn fell on his head, sending him into a frenzy. Without stopping to gather information, access the situation or even to take a breath, Chicken Little runs off dragging his friends into his own hysteria. Chicken Little's strategy of choice was "flight." Because he did not stop to reflect on a possible "game plan" to help him in his time of crisis, he and his friends ended up in the the deep, dark jaws of the fox.
Recently I have watched several friends enter crisis mode and I've suddenly found myself observing this process, watching to see how they will emerge or move through the wild panic that accompanies these life events. I am approaching it, somewhat, as a research project, gathering information to help me in these times that I will certainly continue to navigate.
The first stages seem to be ranting, crying and attempting some kind of action to control the situation. When it becomes impossible to control the circumstances and the pain becomes unbearable, a pain-numbing substance may also be used.
The same initial reaction happens when terror strikes our hearts, when the saber-tooth tiger pursues us, sneaking in for the kill. There came a point in my life when I felt like I just couldn't go through life without any strategy for these times. I felt myself becoming a mangled mess whenever these times would strike. I've observed my own patterns and have developed a "sanity strategy" which at first I attempted weakly, but, with practice, I'm getting better at. I'm outlining my journey through crisis here and believe every piece is equally as important as the other:
Recently I have watched several friends enter crisis mode and I've suddenly found myself observing this process, watching to see how they will emerge or move through the wild panic that accompanies these life events. I am approaching it, somewhat, as a research project, gathering information to help me in these times that I will certainly continue to navigate.
The first stages seem to be ranting, crying and attempting some kind of action to control the situation. When it becomes impossible to control the circumstances and the pain becomes unbearable, a pain-numbing substance may also be used.
The same initial reaction happens when terror strikes our hearts, when the saber-tooth tiger pursues us, sneaking in for the kill. There came a point in my life when I felt like I just couldn't go through life without any strategy for these times. I felt myself becoming a mangled mess whenever these times would strike. I've observed my own patterns and have developed a "sanity strategy" which at first I attempted weakly, but, with practice, I'm getting better at. I'm outlining my journey through crisis here and believe every piece is equally as important as the other:
- Ranting, Crying and Yelling, Catastrophizing - don't skip this stage, it honors your true heart (preferably not at the people you love)
- Naming Every Emotion-fear, sadness, grief, reduced quality of life, loss of a dream, (Do this alone or talk with a loved one)
- Breathe- find a quiet place and take ten deep breaths.
- Gather up Chicken Little- put your hands gently around Chicken Little and bring him/her onto your lap or just sit the little bird beside you. Begin to stroke the feathers and soothe the frenzy and panic. Say "it will be alright." Chicken Little is, or course, your own heart.
- Visualize- I've found it more helpful to visualize how I want to feel and how I want the other parties in the crisis to feel. At times I do visualize the circumstances I want, but in the end, it may not be the change in circumstances that is your true path to happiness. Thus, I've found it more helpful to visualize what I want to feel.
- Trust - believe that there is a higher purpose and order to the event.
- Repeat Daily -I've found that once I have gone through this process once, I rarely repeat step 1 but I do need every other step. Eventually, I just get down to steps 5 and 6 and then finally a daily mantra of "I Trust."
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