I've been thinking about how my thought process might be affecting my life experience and how I cope with loss and move through grief.
My body "feels" Chloe's absence every day. Every day when I pull out of my long lane to head for work, I think about her absence. Sometimes I allow my thoughts to follow what I feel in my body, aching, longing or crying. It is the focus on what I don't have that becomes the leader, instead of focusing on what I do have.
Today as drove in to pick up my coffee I was thinking about how much I wish she was here. Then I caught myself and became aware of my thought pattern and switched to how magical the universe is in that I have had the privilege of being allowed a window into the other side, the experience of melding the spiritual and physical plains. That Chloe is here in very real and powerful ways.
Becoming aware of my patterns has helped me to catch those times when the pattern is turning into a habit. While it is healthy to honor all feelings, to unpack and live in those dark moments will kill the potential joy and life that could also be waiting for me.