There was a time in my life when I became an expert at holding myself in, being more committed to the blessed “shoulds” than to my own authentic soul. The results were at best, disastrous. At one point, I began reading “create-your-life” type of books. I mean, really, there have been so many, and every time I would come away feeling inspired, motivated, in love with myself and excited about my dreams. I’d think about the information for a while, and then on to the next book, class, webinar. After many years, I started to notice that for all the learning I’d done, my life didn’t really seem to have moved a whole lot. The “you are here” on the map seemed to be staying in the same vicinity. I’d traveled around the block at least, but always seemed to come back to the same place. “You are here.” “You are here”, when I really wanted to be “there.” It began feeling like an addiction and I asked myself, do you really want to get “there?” The learning that I’d been so diligent about seemed to be working against me, distracting me from the very thing I was longing for. So, I sat myself down and said, “enough Mary, is this really what you want? Because maybe you don’t.” After answering a resounding YES, this IS what I want, the nagging voice said, “Prove it. Prove to me that you really want to do the work of creating an authentic life from which your dreams and longings can be born, or that you at least want to live with more joy.” Ok. But how? It was then that I sat down and designed "Unearthing Your Bone" with the three key elements you’ll explore in the following pages. I call this the ‘Bones Journey’ and it’s twofold. First and foremost, it’s about digging up our authentic soul. Understanding our true essence. It’s about being free. And then from that place of freedom and authenticity, we move on to establish a road map of our truest goals and dreams.
I began feeling a shift in my life about two years before the creation of this class. It was a little like being pregnant, feeling something growing, but not knowing who it would be that I would meet. Just watching life evolve and unfold. I wasn’t dissatisfied with my job, but I was not content with how I was working and moving through life. I was responding to the wants, needs and wishes of those around me. I wasn’t responding to my passions or purpose. I wasn’t even sure what they were. I just knew I was feeling a pull, hearing an internal voice that was asking for more. There are so many good books, so much information and amazing classes on finding your purpose, but this was something else. My heart was longing to be my authentic self. To return to the person I came here to be.
After I lost Chloe, I was left with this big gaping hole. I was just hallowed out, staring down into the deep, dark emptiness. I knew I had a choice. To be swallowed up into that cavern or decide what I was going to put back in it. I knew I would never live or be the same as I had been. I went to the woods and began listening and feeling myself. Like an artist with a pig chunk of alabaster, I began chiseling away the things that no longer served me and slowly began to form the fully authentic person that I longed to be. I started "coming home."